Little Angels : looking for volunteer group leaders!

Looking for volunteers to take over the twice a month mother/baby group Little Angels in Sakura Shinmachi. The volunteer mothers who have been running the group since April now all have walking babies! I would like to thank them for their wonderful efforts to make sure new mothers can meet and chat and make mummy friends in the vast city that is Tokyo!

The role is mainly one of opening up the room, ensuring there are refreshments, liaising with me for dates/times and locking up and returning the key afterwards.

Little Angels is usually on the first and third Friday of each month, but today saw the last one until we get someone else to take over, so please let me know if you are interested!

I'm back!! (online anyway!)

The amount of effort (both physical and emotional) required to move countries can never be underestimated! Now having settled into our "life elsewhere", I have returned to my Babycafe Japan blog to let you know where you can find me and how you can continue to access resources useful to all expectant mothers in Japan (and elsewhere!)

First, Little Angels, the mother and baby group I established in 2001, continues to run in my home in Tokyo on the first and third Fridays of the month. The group is staffed by fab volunteer mums who know JUST how much other mums with little babies need support....and somewhere to just hang out together and chat. Click the link above for more details.

Some of the teensy babes-in-arms that I left in Tokyo are now WALKING...I can't believe how fast time flies...so Blue Sky is going to offer a special Go Baby Go! group from mid-October to mid-December, where these tots can enjoy music and movement and fun activities in the playroom at Blue Sky, with their mums of course. My favourite assistant teacher is returning to Tokyo from Canada, and she can't wait to get back to Blue Sky and run Go Baby Go! again! Email me here to register your interest.

Since late 2009, I have been providing online lactation consultations, via skype/webcam/email, which means mothers in Tokyo and various other corners of the globe have been able to continue getting support for breastfeeding.

This means personal breastfeeding and infant sleep assistance wherever you are - and wherever I am! Mums in Tokyo have already been putting the service to good use through the Blue Sky online consultations page.

You might believe that what you really need is someone in the room with you to help you attach your baby better, or just to show you what to do. In fact, recent research is suggesting that there is way too much interference by medical staff. Mothers and babies can often get breastfeeding sorted out much better if staff are more "hands off", and mother and babies themselves are more "hands on". So the simple fact I can not be there in the room with you can actually be a great advantage! (Of course, I would love to be there in person, but I would still be "hands off" :-)

I hear too many stories about babies who could only breastfeed in the hospital when the midwife latched them on. What's with that? Shouldn't the midwife be making sure YOU can do it, so that breastfeeding can continue successfully when you get home? Using skype and a webcam, I can see what you and your baby are doing and make suggestions, and ultimately, breastfeeding is not about ME getting baby to latch correctly, it is about YOU being able to do it.

Last but not least, I want to introduce my NEW venture:
FEED BABY SLEEP™
Yep, that is a little ™ mark, because this is actually now a trade mark! Very exciting!

The web site is still under construction, but we also have a facebook page:
Iona's new venture:
FEED BABY SLEEP



and a Twitter page (see the big pink and lime green widget on the right of this page!)

You are welcome to get in touch with me through any of these means...just don't sit in your house in Japan (or anywhere else) and feel like nobody is out there to help you or support you as you try to sort through the tangle of those early sleep-deprived weeks of new motherhood.

I am here, and I can't wait to help!!

BLUE SKY UPDATE Summer 2009

Last weekend I attended an excellent conference in Nagoya run by the Japanese Association of Lactation Consultants (JALC). They are working so hard to educate and inform Japanese doctors, midwives and health professionals about breastfeeding developments and changes in our understanding of how breastfeeding works.

Speakers included Jan Riordan, who wrote the definitive textbook for all students of lactation called Breastfeeding and Human Lactation, and Dr Christina Smillie whose DVD on Baby-led breastfeeding has significantly changed the way I (and many other IBCLCs) work with mothers and babies, with HUGE success. You may have seen it at one of my workshops.

I was also lucky enough to have dinner with Dr. Smillie in Tokyo, where she shared lots more of her clinical experiences, and emphasised that so much of breastfeeding success is about KEEPING MOTHERS & BABIES TOGETHER.
Evidence is mounting that everything goes better for mothers and babies where they spend lots of skin-to-skin time together, with baby snuggled on mum's chest, whether baby is awake or asleep. The release of oxytocin in both mother and baby provides numerous benefits for both, but especially, babies seem to be able to breastfeed better, and mothers produce more milk. I will post more about the benefits of oxytocin soon.

My new group, Heart 2 <3 (heart to heart), for parents of babies up to 2 months old has just started this year, and although each session has been small so far, we have enjoyed ourselves and the babies immensely. It is an opportunity to come and ask questions, without having a full-on lactation consultation, and you can ask questions or compare notes with other parents, share stories, and discuss any topic that is relevant to you and your little baby. Older babies are not excluded...just drop me a note first. Next session is tomorrow afternoon, and August and September sessions are in the works.

The first Blue Sky CPR/AED course is being held in Shibuya tomorrow morning (busy day!!) We have a whopping 23 parents registered! There will be a section at the end focusing on infant CPR, which I believe every parent should know. Our next CPR course will probably be in September or October. The waiting list is already open. This course is run in association with the Tokyo Fire Department and Dave Paddock from English Adventure.

Little Angels playgroup has its last session before the summer next Friday, July 17th. It will be a pot luck lunch, so please bring a plate of food to share. Our potlucks are always popular so please let me know if you plan to join us, as places are limited.

My breastfeeding workshops for expectant have been flooded with people this year, which has been fantastic! Upcoming dates are July 18th, September 13th, October 18th, November 15th and December 13th.

In other news:
La Leche League has a toddler meeting on Friday July 31st. The next regular meeting will be September 11th.
I will be talking at Tokyo Pregnancy group on Thursday August 27th.

I will be here throughout the summer, and apart from a couple of days in Nasu, I am available for lactation consultations and phone and email help as usual.
Have a wonderful summer, and if you are in Tokyo, keep cool!!

La Leche League in Tokyo

We have a wonderful resource in Tokyo in La Leche League,a volunteer organization which offers up-to-date resources and information on breastfeeding, with trained Leaders (experienced breastfeeding mothers themselves) who hold monthly discussion meetings and offer free individual breastfeeding assistance via email and telephone. We have meetings in English, Japanese and French available for women in Tokyo in several different locations each month.

La Leche League has been very active in Tokyo for almost 30 years, and each group has a library for members of fantastic and up-to-date books on birth, breastfeeding, parenting in general, fertility, losing weight after baby, starting solid foods, mothering twins, premature babies, sleep solutions, fussy babies and much more! We have access to breastfeeding information in many languages, and one Tokyo group even has materials in Hebrew!
To find your nearest group, please see http://www.llli.org/Japan.html

Many wonder why anyone would have a meeting about breastfeeding. They may ask, "Who goes to these meetings and what do they talk about?"
At Group meetings La Leche League Leaders and other mothers share experiences, give suggestions and offer support and encouragement. LLL meetings are ideal for learning from and making friends with other mothers. These meetings provide time for mother-to-mother sharing in a friendly and accepting atmosphere. The informal meetings are attended by expectant, new and experienced mothers and their babies. Most Groups rotate through a series of breastfeeding topics, however every meeting is different and the questions of the attendees are always given top priority.

Why LLL meetings? In generations past, many mothers had plenty of support for breastfeeding their babies because their mothers, grandmothers and sisters had breastfed. Now many of us live far away from our families and most likely, they didn't breastfed. Breastfeeding is natural, but it is a learned art. Attending an LLL meeting and seeing other mothers breastfeed their babies helps new and expectant mothers learn how to nurture their babies too.

Who attends LLL meetings? Women interested in breastfeeding are welcome to attend LLL meetings. Women are encouraged to begin attending meetings as soon as they know they are pregnant or before, if they are interested! Attending early in a pregnancy gives mothers plenty of time to learn as much as possible about the womanly art of breastfeeding. Most Groups have an extensive lending library of books especially for breastfeeding families on the topics of breastfeeding, nutrition, parenting and childbirth. The LLL comprehensive guidebook, THE WOMANLY ART OF BREASTFEEDING is offered for sale by most Groups. More here: http://www.llli.org/FAQ/LLL.html
Or contact one of the Leaders in Tokyo listed here http://www.llli.org/Japan.html

"Breastfeeding is... making lunch for your child"

"Breastfeeding is nothing fancier than making lunch for your child. Maybe you need a specialist’s help to do that – maybe something makes it hard for you to open the jar, for instance – but mostly you just need to see other mothers, all making lunch in different ways, from different ingredients, all feeding their children, as mothers always have."

Beautiful quote from Diane Wiessinger's web siteCommon Sense breastfeeding

Come to La Leche League on April 10th 2009 in Shibuya, and see how much more the real world has to offer breastfeeding mothers...things you cannot learn from books or online!!

HALLOWEEN!!

キッズハロウィーンパーティー10月31日（金）
Halloween Party OCTOBER 31st 2008 2.30pm.

Doors open 2.30, but you can drop in anytime up until 4pm. Party ends at 4.30

Party開催時間中は2.30pm以降なら何時に入場されても構いません。最終入場は4.00pmまでにお願いします。「ちょっとだけ寄ってみようかな…」という方もお気軽にどうぞ！

Every year Blue Sky's Halloween party is great fun!! We often have more than 100 kids and their mums! This year we will have Halloween songs and games followed by Mikey the clown's magic show (Michael sensei), Stacy's face-painting and trick or treat candies.
See the photos from previous years here. Be sure to scroll down!

Place: Tsurumaki Shukaijo Community room (5 minutes walk from Blue Sky)
場所：弦巻区民集会所　（弦巻5-1-18）


View Larger Map

Advance Ticket sales: 1500yen per mother/child. 500 yen per additional child.
Tickets at the door: 1800yen 800 yen per additional child
Contact Iona for advance tickets here

参加費：親子1組1500円 (前売りのみ) お子様1人追加につきplus 500円
当日券を販売いたしますが、親子1組：1800円、お子様1人追加につき:800円となりますので、
前売券を購入される方がお得です！

先生（アイオナ）にお申し付け下さい。もしくはメールを送ってください。
８才以下のお子さんは常時保護者同伴のこと。
Children under 8 years old need to be accompanied by an adult.

a. 英語のハロウィーンの歌､手遊びとゲーム Halloween songs and Games
b. Trick or Treatトリックオアトリートお菓子
c. Mikey the clown's MAGIC SHOW!　マイケル先生のマジックショー
d. Stacy's facepainting ステイシー先生のフェイスペインチング
Come along in your Halloween costumes and join the fun!
お子様はハロウィーンコスチュームを着てご参加ください。

World Breastfeeding Week, 1-7 August 2008

This year’s theme established by the World Alliance for Breastfeeding Advocacy (WABA) is: “Mother Support: Going for the Gold.” ILCA has added the tag, “Every­one Wins When Babies Breastfeed” as a reminder that we ALL play a role in providing the support new mothers need to meet their breastfeeding goals.



In conjunction with the Olympics in August 2008, WBW 2008 calls for greater support for mothers in achieving the gold standard of infant feeding: breastfeeding exclusively for six months, and providing appropriate complementary foods with continued breastfeeding for up to two years or beyond. La Leche League International, a founding member and Core Partner of the World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action (WABA), is celebrating World Breastfeeding Week (WBW) through its La Leche League (LLL) Leaders and LLL Groups around the world. LLLI has a current presence in 68 countries.

See more at

Mother/baby playgroup Little Angels

Little Angels resumes tomorrow at 10am at Iona's place. This group for mothers with their babies who are not yet walking, is usually held on the first and third Fridays of each month.

Dates for early 2008 are
Jan 18th
Feb 1st and 15th
March 7th

Come along and make friends with other mothers in Tokyo, there are books for loan, magazine exchange, get your parenting questions answered, and refreshments are provided. We have it all!

Blue Sky Christmas Party

A big thank you to everyone who sent in your stories!

Blue Sky's Christmas party was a lot of fun! It was a great way to end the year, with Christmas cookies and kids dancing to Jingle Bells and Christmas songs and stories. In all there were about 50 people, mothers, children and babies included. Check out http://www.blueskytokyo.com for future events!

La Leche League Feb 2007

We had a fabulous turn-out at the La Leche League meeting in Shibuya today. 25 mothers and 15 babies, including 9 expectant mums, which must be a new record! The group was just so alive and wonderful with all those babies and bellies! I always feel so privileged to be able to be involved in the births and breastfeeding experiences of so many women, even in just a small way. Every single one is special and it never ceases to amaze me how much we learn from the babies themselves.

"Nothing prepares you"

"Nothing prepares you" is the title of one of the chapters in the new book "What Mothers Do, especially when it looks like nothing" by Naomi Stadlen.
This is the phrase she most often hears from new mothers when they discuss how they feel about becoming a mother. They often say that it was " a shock" to find out what mothering really entailed. Another article called "The reality of motherhood: What Nobody Tells you discusses how we usually underestimate how much our lives will change when the baby arrives. We have read the books, taken the classes, watched the videos, yet there is an underlying feeling that perhaps there was something missing in our preparations...surely it wasn't meant to be quite like this???

Recently Setagaya ward's volunteer bureau in Tokyo held a seminar where the speakers discussed their experiences of being mothers in a foreign country. Many of the Japanese women in the audience reported similar experiences when their families were posted overseas. The consensus was that in addition to culture shock, there should be a whole separate category called "new mother shock". Compounded with some degree of pre-existing culture shock, it can leave a new (foreign) mother feeling quite overwhelmed. Even if you expected your baby to bring some degree of change to your life, the extent of the real impact of baby's arrival on your life and your emotions can far outstrip what you anticipated. You may indeed feel that "nothing prepares you".

The first newborn baby you ever held may have been your own baby. Few of us have spent time with newborn babies, so we may not know instinctively what is normal. We may not have family or friends nearby to support us. So that is when we turn to the books or the internet to get some perspective. There is a huge market in writing for new parents, because everyone is worried, and lots of unqualified "experts" are cashing in on these vulnerabilities, telling us that they have the answers, their methods are the secret to unlocking the mysteries of parenthood.

How do you know your baby is doing OK? Is it normal to have a baby feeding frequently every evening? How can it be normal to poop so much? When is spitting up too much? What will I do if there is an emergency? Will I even recognise there is actually an emergency? What if I don't speak Japanese well (or at all)? Where can I find the help I need? How long before life returns to "normal" and I can "get things done" again? Why am I so forgetful now, even though before the baby arrived I was a highly competent and organised business professional? These are just a some of the things that might run through your mind.

And to top it off, all this occurs while you are recovering physically, emotionally and mentally from your birth, possibly replaying the experience over and over in your mind, adjusting to living with interrupted sleep and hormones that are in flux, and being totally responsible for this new little person, 24/7. Learning to breastfeed, learning to recognise your baby's signals, getting to know your baby's needs and how to satisfy them, dealing with the nights, coordinating feeding, changing, sleeping, eating meals yourself, maintaining yourself, your relationship with your partner, your home...this intense on-the-job training happens when you may feel at your most vulnerable, and at times it is hard to pick out the exact bit of information you need from all the things you have heard, read and stored for future reference.

If we were all parenting our new babies in extended communities, we would probably have been exposed to little babies and the things they do while we were growing up. We might have some inner sense of "this is what babies do". In an extended family or community, other women may
be able to share their wisdom and experience when our babies are born, help us out with the myriad of tasks we are learning, and support us in a positive way as we learn to become mothers. But being in Japan, you may find yourself more isolated than if you were in your home country.

During pregnancy, most first-time mothers are focussed on the birth. It can be so all-consuming that we tend not to think about what comes after: we trust the next part will all come naturally, and look after itself. Compared to the birth, how hard could it be???

Before the baby arrives, many women say they are determined to keep some sense of routine and order after the baby is born (which explains the appeal of those books with carefully planned daily schedules). They start from the premise that being in control is essential to being a parent. "No baby is going to run my life!" Having a baby is the beginning of a life-long relationship. What other relationship in your life is based on "control"? Each baby is an individual, each wired differently, and a control-based one-size-fits-all approach to parenting can make life very stressful for a new mum. It is easy to think that because your baby doesn't do everything that the book says, or doesn't respond to the methods in a particular book, there is something wrong with your baby. Maybe there is something wrong with the book???

By not anticipating and preparing for the reality of life with a newborn and the changes that will arrive in your life, new motherhood can come as a massive shock. Before your baby arrives, read some books on gentle parenting, attend La Leche League meetings or join a new mothers group in your area where you can see mothers and babies in action and hear their stories, join online discussion forums where you can have your questions answered sensitively. Do this at a time when you are still able to think straight, and be open to different suggestions...you never know what might work for you in the future! These links are just somewhere to start to help lessen the new mother shock, and then after the birth these same places may be able to offer you support as you adjust to your new life as a mother.

Our babies truly benefit from us being flexible, spontaneous and open to new ideas as we learn to be their parents. If we listen to our babies, and watch them, and grow and learn with them, our lives can be so enriched, and sometimes just a little less stressful!

Breastfeeding in Japan photos!!

Would you like to share your breastfeeding photos? Babycafe Japan is going to start a gallery of breastfeeding photos on our blog. You don't need to have your name included, nor your face if you don't want to, but we know that if everyone can see more babies breastfeeding, it makes everyone more comfortable that breastfeeding is the normal way to feed your baby. You could send us your picture of breastfeeding in the park, on the subway, in a restaurant, visiting a shrine, while hiking in the countryside, at the pool, while wearing your baby in a sling: happy breastfeeding babies ...anytime... anywhere!

Send photos here, and include any story you'd like to share about breastfeeding...maybe we can put them all together in another format. Just one thing to note: the photos must be owned by you.

New mothers' groups

Do you belong to a new mothers' group in your part of Japan?

Do you wish there was a group near you? Maybe you are interested in starting one up?

Write to babycafejapan and let us know. We might hear from someone near you and we can put you in touch with each other. Eventually we could have babycafe japan satellite groups appearing all over Japan! And mothers (and families) meeting each other and getting the local support they need!

What is La Leche League?

La Leche League (LLL) groups around the world run discussion meetings for mothers, generally once a month, which cover all aspects of breastfeeding, from getting started right through until weaning. At LLL meetings, you can bring your babies, your stories and experiences, and also your questions. You can make friends with other like-minded mothers, and get heaps of up-to-date and relevant information on breastfeeding whatever the stage of your baby.

LLL was founded 50 years ago by a group of seven mothers who were breastfeeding at a time when few people were supportive of it. They quickly found that there were many other mothers like them, who knew breastfeeding was best for them and their babies but no one had much information on it. So the network of mothers supporting other mothers grew and grew, and now LLL groups are in over 60 countries of the world!

The Leaders at the meetings are all volunteers, experienced breastfeeding mothers themselves who have completed the training required to become accredited and run a group. Groups are supported entirely by the memberships they sell. You don't have to be a member to attend a meeting or to call a Leader for support, but by joining, you help to keep the library stocked, to ensure that LLL is here for future mothers, and that the Leaders can receive further education and materials to offer the best help they can to mothers.

In Japan we have the following English speaking groups.
Tokyo: Tokyo Central and Tokyo West
There are English speaking Leaders available to help mothers in Sendai, Wakkanai (northern Hokkaido), Atsugi, Yokota and Okinawa.
Japanese groups and Leaders can be found through their website.

If you are a breastfeeding mother and would like to learn more about how to become a LLL Leader and start groups in your area, LLL International has a website where you can get that information. Of course it also carries heaps of breastfeeding and parenting resources, and there are interactive discussion forums where parents can ask breastfeeding questions too.