Listen to Pinky McKay's talk on infant sleep

I was listening to this recording today and reminded again how much babies are biologically programmed to remain in the stone age. And I ask myself, when grown adults (ie. parents) prefer sleeping together rather than alone, because let's face it, most couples DO sleep together....where is the biological sense in leaving a baby to sleep alone?
Of course, every family does what feels right for them, but why does sharing sleep with, or sleeping in close proximity to, your beautiful baby seem wrong to so many people? Is it those prudish Victorian values rearing their ugly head again? Hmm, let's think about that...

and in the meantime, have a listen to Pinky's informative talk by clicking on the PREVIEW for "The Con of Controlled Crying" here.

She also writes some excellent books one of which is 100 ways to Calm the Crying.

Follow me on facebook
Follow me on twitter

Survey of Mothers' Sleep & Fatigue

Survey of Mothers' Sleep & Fatigue
by Dr. Kathleen Kendall Tackett and Dr. Thomas Hale

You are eligible to participate in this study if you currently have a baby or child 12 months of age or younger.

In this survey, they will be asking you some detailed questions about how well you and your baby sleep, where members of your family usually sleep, and how tired you feel on most days. They will also ask you some questions about things that can interfere with sleep. There are very few studies on this important topic, and they will use the results for a research study.

Click HERE for the survey.

Sleep training from baby's point of view

This is from one of my lists:

Sleep Training...

OK, here's my situation. My Mommy has had me for
almost 7 months. The first few months were great--
I cried, she picked me up and fed me,
anytime, day or night. Then something happened.
Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to
STTN (sleep through the night).
At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is only
getting worse. I've talked to other babies, and it seems like it's
pretty common after Mommies have had us for around 6 months.

Here's the thing: these Mommies don't really need
to sleep. It's just a habit. Many of them have had some 30 years to
sleep--they just don't need it anymore. So I am implementing a
plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle.

It goes like this:

Night 1--cry every 3 hours until you get fed.
I know, it's hard. It's hard to see your Mommy upset over your
crying.
Just keep reminding yourself, it's for her own good.

Night 2--cry every 2 hours until you get fed.

Night 3--every hour.

Most Mommies will start to respond more quickly
after about 3 nights.
Some Mommies are more alert, and may resist the
change longer. These Mommies may stand in your doorway for hours,
shhhh-ing. Don't give in. I cannot stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS
KEY!!
If you let her STTN (sleep through the night), just once, she
will expect it every night. I KNOW IT'S HARD! But she really does not
need the sleep, she is just resisting the change.

If you have an especially alert Mommy, you can
stop crying for about 10 minutes,
just long enough for her to go back
to bed and start to fall asleep.
Then cry again. It WILL eventually
work. My Mommy once stayed awake for 10 hours straight,
so I know she can do it.

Last night, I cried every hour. You just have to
decide to stick to it and just go for it.
BE CONSISTENT! I cried for any
reason I could come up with. My sleep sack tickled my foot. I
felt a wrinkle under
the sheet. My mobile made a shadow on the wall. I
burped, and it tasted like pears.
I hadn't eaten pears since lunch,
what's up with that?
The cat said "meow". I should know. My
Mommy reminds me of this about 20 times a day. LOL.
Once I cried just because I liked how it
sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the
other room. Too hot, too
cold, just right--doesn' t matter! Keep crying!!

It took awhile, but it worked. She fed me at 4am.
Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am.
You need to slowly shorten the
interval between feedings in order to reset your Mommies' internal
clocks.

P.S. Don't let those rubber things fool you, no
matter how long you suck on them, no milk will come out. Trust me.

Self-soothing solitary sleep

Sounds cold and lonely doesn't it?

What do you like to do to before you sleep? Apart from the obvious...which for new parents may not even top the list...as the weather gets colder, maybe you like to have a cup of something warm and soothing, a chat and a cuddle with your partner, a bit of a read, maybe even a massage...that sounds like a nice way to ease ourselves into the world of sleep, doesn't it? And it feels good!

Why then do we want our little babies to learn to sleep alone and without human contact from a young age, when we all know how nice the alternative feels? Is it fear that keeps us from being warm, loving and gentle with our babies as they transition to sleep, just as we are with our partners? Is it so important to "teach" our babies self-soothing solitary sleep, when as adults they most likely will not be interested in sleeping like that all?

Breastfeeding, rocking, patting, cuddling, stories, massage...these are the things babies love to do to help make that transition into sleep. Even your dog is happy when he gets stroked and cuddled. What are we really doing to our own human babies with sleep schools, sleep management programs, controlled crying and strict schedules, avoiding eye contact, avoiding human contact, ignoring cries and imposing arbitrary sleep times and expectations?

PS. "Self-soothing solitary-sleeping babies" is a phrase which appears in Pinky McKay's new book, Sleeping like a Baby She is not an advocate of the practice!